Why the word SHOULD is so damaging…

(Inspired by recent conversations with patients)

I don’t know what I don’t know. I can’t take action on what I don’t understand, yet I hold myself to often impossible standards.

Like anything new, once I learn it I become really excited. I realize I have been living with a blind eye to a certain set of ideals or some information and my world expands and opens up to new places, people and opportunities.

I find it hard to integrate this new information into my consciousness without the feelings of shame, ignorance or guilt or just HIGH EXPECTATIONS.

I want to be the best and when I learn something new I can find it hard to show myself compassion that I didn’t always know what I know now.

This happened to me recently as I discovered a new piece of technology to integrate into my practice. It was a bumpy transition of using this software and I had held a lot of apprehension about using it in my practice up until now. It seemed daunting the idea of having to learn something new.

I was overwhelmed by the idea of the time it takes to learn and integrate as I expect myself to be better, quicker, smarter and more capable that what is realistic and often humanly possible. After all I do need to sleep to maintain a healthy balance in my life!

The advantages of the software were instant and yet I continued to slam my self-talk with I SHOULD have done this years ago!

This SHOULD talk is so damaging, it takes us back to an unbalanced state where our demands on ourselves and our thoughts are disproportional to what is possible.

Yesterday I had two conversations in my practice, one was about the power of homeopathic miasmatic treatment and the other about glyphosate poisoning to our foods. Both women were thrashing themselves with — “if only I had started this treatment with you long ago and changed my family’s diet we would all have been in such a stronger and healthier place years ago.”

This is a common dialogue in my clinic as the changes are so transformation and positive that my patients are often in disbelief. The unrealistic expectations I heard in these conversations are the same as I face in my own life and self-talk. We all try SO hard to reach an insurmountable task of high and unrealistic standards.

Instead, I’m trying to embrace the new belief that things come and flow into my life at the exact moment that they are meant to and so before it arrives there is no such thing as SHOULD, FAILURE or NOT ENOUGH.

With the global landscape at the moment, I have to reach for and trust a belief outside of myself more than ever. I have to believe that where there is darkness that the light is stronger. That like when you turn on a light switch the darkness disappears quickly, almost instantly.

This is the new belief that I am attuning to in my life, my practice and within myself.

I have always been enough and my best has always been the only thing I could ask of myself. New will always come when it’s needed and when I allow it. I don’t have to chase it, I need only be open to it and this flow will continue…

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