The game of patience…

Seriously, dealing with the unknown and having to be patient is when the BEAST in me comes out. The uncertainty, the different scenarios, the what if’s — they really are challenging for me.

I know it’s not anxiety, as it’s not a clinical presentation, it doesn’t cripple me in my life. It’s just FEAR of the unknown.

My life has been full of unknowns. I know especially in Australia right now and with COVID restrictions, people around the world are feeling this fear about what really is coming next?

Above all, I believe we have to bring back things to the immediate as this is all we DO KNOW and all the power and control we have the ability to influence.

Here are 3 of the coping mechanisms I have put in place for myself in the last 24 hours when I started to feel myself spin out of control. I was trying to make plans, unable to and then I had to ensure I didn’t sit in the worry or the disgust about it all.

1. What do I want? — What do I need? — asking myself these questions and then taking action accordingly.

Last night I had the final 20 minutes of my day watching mindless Netflix as a way of trying to get to sleep and turn the mind off. Yesterday I made coffee and served everyone in my home, trying to cope with my restlessness.

Today I will do the same. In any idle moments, the thoughts and the powerlessness can creep in. If I keep things in the present by asking myself these two questions I then can take action and gain momentum again.

2. TRUST — above all, despite our differences in beliefs and values we all have to trust in something sooner or later. Whether it’s God or yourself, or the stars or the universe we all have a process of reaching for something bigger when things get tough.

I remind myself at times like this of great uncertainty that I can TRUST that things will move. That what we are all experiencing globally is only temporary and that in the end good really does always overthrow evil. I have had some contentious conversations of late about this good and evil and it’s pulled my energy down and it’s felt heavy.

In retrospect, these conversations are not necessary for me and are not helpful. Instead, I will just remind myself that someway and somehow this is moving in A DIRECTION that is progress. Although I don’t understand and can get caught up in the injustice of it all one thing is for sure, it can’t last forever and good always wins.

3. Choosing happiness — I hold this power and this cannot be taken away from me. Not from governments, not from lawmakers, not from family or friends or my children.

The way I feel is MY responsibility and the greatest commitment I can make to myself every day is despite everything — choosing to be happy!

How do I do this? I reach for the things I love and enjoy — I love to ride my electric scooter, I love to listen to music, I love to exercise, I love to laugh and to smile and to have coffee with my family and talk and remember the good times.

No matter what, my happiness is my responsibility and I can and do reach for joy and happiness constantly. I DO have the power to choose what I do for myself. Even when I wish things on the outside things, the world, had more certainty and clarity.

We are all in this together but this has a different meaning to me than the Facebook posts and memes. To me this means we are here to lean on each other, to see each other clearly, and to hold compassion and love for all of us who are suffering differently.

To me these restrictions and the shit show that is 2020 is not about survival.

It is about love, compassion, it’s about resilience, it’s about knowledge, it’s about WAKING UP! It is about finding and remaining true to ourselves and each other so this can strengthen us not drag us down…

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