Mum has had many wise words for me over the years. But the best one by far was “leopards don’t change their spots.”
I have been using the time and the added space with COVID isolation to heal some deep wounds and trauma. I have been unpacking the last few years trying really hard to let go, forgive, and move forward.
I had a personal epiphany recently that I see the best in people and I have always been drawn to people’s potential. After all, it’s people’s potential that I encourage and help shift in my practice.
I help people achieve health goals they never thought possible — getting off medications, changing chronic diagnoses, etc. So it’s easy for me in my personal life to have this spill over and see people’s potential, get excited, make plans and become attached to what I believe is possible.
One lesson that I have learned the hard way is that mum was right! People only change if they have their own motivation and intentions.
No amount of cheering from the sidelines or belief in someone can give them belief in themselves.
I think about how this can impact my parenting — I believe in my children and I see their potential, but it’s really their belief in themselves that I need to need to create more intentionality about. I work really hard for myself and in my parenting to practice building self-confidence.
What instills belief and self-confidence?
1. Take risks and do something every day that is new, exciting, and maybe even scary.
2. Set yourself up to succeed not to fail!
3. Look after yourself and learn about your wants and your needs. Practice and make time for these every day.
4. Self-talk — I can, I will and I choose. These are three phrases we use all the time in our home.
5. Look for your own solutions — don’t ask for advice until you have some gut feeling or rough idea of what you need to do.
6. Make it about others not only yourself. Service makes you feel valuable, not selfish.
7. Banish negativity and only speak words of positivity about yourself and your life.
8. Set goals every day and achieve them — start small like making your bed, doing exercise, making a phone call, and completing an important task.
9. Believe in the impossible — problems can often feel overwhelming and impossible. Stretch your mind to believe in the miraculous and the unexpected.
10. Be grateful for everything. Another PRICELESS phrase from my mum is that there is “no such thing as a negative experience because even if it’s negative you will learn from it.”
So how does this relate to the people in my life that I believe in?
Do I believe in their growth and what is possible for them — absolutely! But more than this I believe in myself and I can only attach myself to the changes I am willing to make not others.
If I learned this earlier in life I would have walked away from a lot of unhealthy relationships — friendships, partners, and even within my career.
We have the power over the impact and the choices WE MAKE. We have power over the intention we create for our children, our parenting, and our relationships.
We do not hold the keys to someone else’s future and if they don’t obtain self-belief for themselves then a leopard cannot change their spots…