5 Ways to Build Resilience for Tweens and Teens –

As the world continue to throw challenges at our youth with lockdowns, bullying, social media, change and never seen before expectations I feel these medicines and these strategies are helpful in my practice.

🌀Routine/Structure – just like when they were young children tweens and teens do better when they have a routine and some structure in their day. Essential things like meal times, bathing, tidying up after themselves and their every day academics when completed bring a sense of achievement. Many parents with teens who are struggling drop all of their expectations of them. They stop asking them to pitch in and enforcing hygiene as they are waiting for the ‘funk’ to pass. In my experience this only perpetuates the ‘funk’ and shows that you have given up on them. Supporting them lovingly but firmly to participate in the family and to continue their routine shows that you care about their emotions and feelings and equally care about the role in the life of the family as well as their continued personal and academic success.

🌀Help them set boundaries – a lot of the time the drama and the little ‘tiffs’ that hit the emotions and self esteem of our youth is because they don’t know how to shut things down and say no. Many are people pleasers and are trying to be good friends and good people so they allow things that cross lines that they realize later are not acceptable. Keep the dialogue open to keep an eye on the limits your teen is setting and most importantly set healthy boundaries in your life and speak about them with your children. We cannot expect our children to to know everything, we must teach them and the healthiest way to do this is to use our own life and relationships as dialogue to discuss what is healthy and what is not.

🌀Teach them self care – exercise, eating well, drinking water, healthy sleep patterns and connection to others are the essentials that all of us require to be functional and healthy human beings. On top of this being able to regulate emotions, manage fatigue and overwhelm and know when to say NO are all self care strategies they must learn and adopt so they can implement it in their own life. It’s more than running a bubble bath and giving yourself permission to have a good cry. Self care is about them being able to regulate their time on the internet, what they are listening to and watching and knowing when to turn it off. Start with dialogue and suggestions and model with your own behavior and self regulation. There is nothing like a teenager to poke a hold in your parenting and make you out to be a hypocrite!

🌀Allow them to feel and share – make time and space every day over a meal, walking the dog or grabbing a kombucha and ask how they are. Tweens and teens will not speak unless you give them space and time to do so. They need to be feel loved, heard and most importantly have a place well there is no judgment or unsolicited advice. You may not agree with what they say but they, like you, have the right to feel it and it’s real to them. Instead of criticizing and trying to fix the situations in their life ask them questions to ponder to help develop perspective and offer another point of view.

🌀Teach them how to set themselves up to succeed – look at their behavior, their fatigue, their nutrition and their expectations of themselves. Ask them whether they feel it is unrealistic and whether they feel they are setting themselves up to succeed or fail. Could others achieve it, could they and could you? Calibrate healthy expectations to their reality so they are not playing small or becoming perfectionistic.

✅ Remedies I reach for to assist the tweens and teens in crisis in my family practice include Arsenicum Album, Pulsatilla, Tuberculinum, Ignatia, Nux Vomica, Lycopodium and Aurum Metallicum.

For dosage seek out the guidance of an experienced clinician.

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